What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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