Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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