They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am available for nakedness
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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