i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
