Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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