C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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