2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
