the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
