ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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