Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
