I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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