I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
