Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
