Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
