First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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