New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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