it hurts more in the daytime
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
