its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
