The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
the raccoons are back...
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