Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
