I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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