I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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