Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
