Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's just like the Real World with babies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
