She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
