No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
