the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just had sex on a roof
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
