If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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