haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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