If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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