Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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