Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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