Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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