everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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