i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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