you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
