tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
