The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
