Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
