no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
