she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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