My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
