i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
