my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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