That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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