I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
