We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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