white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
