You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
