i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
