I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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